This one I wrote a long time ago but thought I would share it here. Maybe someday I'll have enough of a following where I can finally get some feedback on it.
So here it is...."Tears and The Rain" (published March 28, 2011 on my personal Facebook Page)
There was a woman who sat on her front porch everyday that it rained just so she could truly cry. Not a cry from sorrow, or a cry from hurt, just to cry and feel that beautifully human.
I wish sometimes I could be that woman or join her, but instead I just watch through the windows of my home and comment on how crazy she is for doing so...I wish I could feel that complete and feel that completely comfortable with human emotions and expressions there of, I am perfectly happy with smiling out of complete joy but for some reason or another I disdain tears with every fiber of my being. Every moment in my short years that I cry I reject every bit of salt infested H2O that drops from my ocular functions. They disgust me as I punch a wall or something close to get rid of that feeling of vulnerability and weakness. I HATE tears, but I realize as I write this, this is one lesson I need to learn above all. I need to be like that woman who sits on her porch every time it rains and just feels the complete, comforting freedom of tears shed without shame, embarrassment, weakness or whatever.
I would like to be her, because in the end, tears like hers are not the weakening kind, vulnerable kind, or even the shameful kind. They are the tears that give one strength. Wouldn't I prefer to have those tears that are meant to make me stronger instead of cursing every moment I see one leached from my body by emotions that are completely normal and natural for any human being to have? I suppose I should. I just wish I never learned to have this stigma where I am constantly at odds with being human, being emotional, always at odds with myself...but to be honest I know I can't be the only one.
The rain stops, she smiles and waves at me as the sun begins to reappear from behind the clouds. She goes back inside her home, and I go back to looking blankly at my computer screen...
So here it is...."Tears and The Rain" (published March 28, 2011 on my personal Facebook Page)
There was a woman who sat on her front porch everyday that it rained just so she could truly cry. Not a cry from sorrow, or a cry from hurt, just to cry and feel that beautifully human.
I wish sometimes I could be that woman or join her, but instead I just watch through the windows of my home and comment on how crazy she is for doing so...I wish I could feel that complete and feel that completely comfortable with human emotions and expressions there of, I am perfectly happy with smiling out of complete joy but for some reason or another I disdain tears with every fiber of my being. Every moment in my short years that I cry I reject every bit of salt infested H2O that drops from my ocular functions. They disgust me as I punch a wall or something close to get rid of that feeling of vulnerability and weakness. I HATE tears, but I realize as I write this, this is one lesson I need to learn above all. I need to be like that woman who sits on her porch every time it rains and just feels the complete, comforting freedom of tears shed without shame, embarrassment, weakness or whatever.
I would like to be her, because in the end, tears like hers are not the weakening kind, vulnerable kind, or even the shameful kind. They are the tears that give one strength. Wouldn't I prefer to have those tears that are meant to make me stronger instead of cursing every moment I see one leached from my body by emotions that are completely normal and natural for any human being to have? I suppose I should. I just wish I never learned to have this stigma where I am constantly at odds with being human, being emotional, always at odds with myself...but to be honest I know I can't be the only one.
The rain stops, she smiles and waves at me as the sun begins to reappear from behind the clouds. She goes back inside her home, and I go back to looking blankly at my computer screen...
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