Dating and the Single Mom

Painting I did as a Christmas present to my son. 

Alright, so I know I promised to publish posts about other things (like that book review I've been meaning to get to) but I have to address this one today.

So I am a person that despite being the hopeless/hopeful romantic that I am, I tend to actually approach my dating life in a careful way. I give up dating for a few months here and there and tend to take long breaks from being around people in general while I sit back and reassess what I will and will not accept in the behaviors of a friend or boyfriend towards me.

One thing that I will NEVER accept in this regard, is a person looking at my child as a handicap or a reason to detract from who I am as a person.

Why?



Two reasons:

1. I'm a DAMN good mother and believe it is one of the best things about myself.
2. My child is the best part of myself walking around on this Earth. In literal terms there's a person I gave life to who is walking around using cells leeched from my body while I carried them for 9 months, and he's my heart. I love no one like I love my son. No one gets to take away from the beauty of that relationship. NO ONE.

Period.

So when a "man" uses it as an excuse to try to make me feel insecure or simply tries to make me play down my kid like he doesn't matter, I get offended and see RED. That's it. I also get really hurt.

Pic of my kid. Who wouldn't love this little guy? Photo taken by me.

I get hurt because, to me, I love my son so dearly and I want the world and others, particularly those I bring into my life, and subsequently into his, to accept and love him too. The fact that a person, who I haven't even deemed worthy of meeting the most important person in my life, is going to sit there and already not accept him and love him as part of me hurts beyond belief.

I take rejection pretty damn well, I move on, and forgive and forget. Why waste the energy dwelling on the past when nothing can be done to change it other than the person who made the decision. I don't chase, if a man disappears from my life, he simply wasn't that into me or into making an effort and I keep it moving.

When it comes to my son, my heart, my joy, my baby, I feel deeply wounded. When this happens, I want you to get away from me and FAST.

The reason I post this is not just to be self-serving. I also want people to comment.

Men: What is the big deal anyways with the "oh but she's got a kid" thing? Why would you want to date a woman that would so readily dismiss her children for a chance to get to sleep with you?

Women: Am I being unreasonable in my stance? Have any of my fellow single moms encountered this same piece of archaic and limited behavior?

Thoughts people. I know this situation isn't that unique.