Well, I am going to be as careful as I possibly can while delivering my review of the much talked about "50 Shades of Grey" by E.L. James.I remember the night the "novel" was first introduced to me. I was celebrating a friend's birthday and someone mentioned how there was this "soft-core" porno book making the rounds through her coworkers at the salon. I was intrigued and immediately started reading the sample. I, a person who reads quite often, finished the sample in the blink of an eye. However, after reading the Kindle sample, while intrigued to continue the journey of the character, Anastasia, a virgin getting ready for a pornographic journey, I let the book and all that was said about it slip to the back of my mind.
Some weeks later, of all the people to bring it up, it was my mom. I told her I heard great things and she should take the time to check it out, I also mentioned my shallow exploration of the novel with my kindle app sample.
Some days later, she actually began reading and had downloaded the full book. Well, to my surprise my mother (who requested I write this review) then proceeded to deliver "spoilers" to the plot and after all was said and done, I resolved to not download the full book and finish the odyssey of reading the novel. I just knew from what I was told that this wasn't the book for me. I even went as far as posting on my Facebook page that I REFUSED to read the book no matter what any one said, and I left it at that.
But, then, fate intervened. Quite frankly it had to, because, as the reader of this post, I know you are thinking, "Well, if you didn't read the book then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WRITING A REVIEW."
Like I said, my mother requested it after much discussion, rave and not so rave reviews from friends and acquaintances, and YouTube pans and YouTube praises. Thus began my trip into the juvenile mind of the author, the character, and my own exploration of what my psyche and soul can tolerate reading. (For those of you who don't get the last part of that sentence, I will simply fill you in: I am super duper careful of what I feed my soul whether its literature, music, food, movies, and all other forms of media.)
Yes, I have relented and actually read the book. I literally read through what I can only describe as juvenile muck and "swallowed" like some icky, badly cooked (in this case badly written) spinach and just kept trudging through until mine eyes met with the last electronic page on my rather well lit kindle app on my cell phone, 'tis my preferred method these days for intake of information.
For those of us who read it, we all know that the character is poorly written (I believe my assessment after spoilers was correct when I said she was VAPID), and it weaves a story of an abusive relationship.
TRUST me when I say, after living in an abusive relationship, this woman put up with FAR MORE than I EVER did in my relationships (healthy or not).
So, too, as I read what can only be described as a teenager writing rather graphic things about severe sexual exploration, all I could think of were the atrocities done to black women during slavery where they had no say in such sexual acts as described in this book, and the women who still endure such treatment in 3rd world countries and such via sexual/white slavery (google it, I promise you'll find more detail via wikipedia).
After reading it and seeing what so many women could only describe as hot and sexy, all I could think to myself while listening to them afterwards was, and I have to write in an "ignant" tone if you will, "B__ch! Is you stupid?!"
What in the world is going on that we as women who enjoy the fruits of feminist labor, would think that its a sexy thing to submit to such treatment? It is beyond my true comprehension.
However, I don't have just negative things to say.
I suppose this is the part where I sort of play "Devil's Advocate"
The plot, had it been handled better, might have carried us through all the colors and safe words. In fact, the "contract" concept is kinda....intriguing....not the language of the contract, just the concept. I could also see how some women, particularly those who are fond of swooning, fainting, and all the old timey stuff you find in the old romances, could see her several instances of "lip biting" and him asking her oh so sensually, to not bite (when we all know, no dude is ever going to say that). Her moments of titillation and so forth while agreeing to be subservient in the bed room could also be considered "relatable" for some.
I am only touching on this in a topical manner because quite frankly I am sick of the dialogue on this book/trilogy and I don't feel like entertaining it anymore in my thoughts or words.
I will say, that maybe, just maybe, she could have taken a cue from the Marquis de Sade (again google it kiddies, or watch the movie Quills with Geoffrey Rush and Kate Winslet), and actually "titillate" an intelligent reader (some of whom are ENGLISH majors like the main character. What an insult) with some great clever writings and quips.
I shall leave you with this last note: Sure this book MIGHT be your cup of tea even though it is not mine. Be that as it may, I appreciate someone actually having the creative gumption to actually start and completely finish a written piece that can be turned into or deemed worthy of becoming a book (and possible movie now that Universal has acquired the movie rights to the trilogy. Read it here if you don't believe me.)
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